Bonnets & Dove Gnomes

I would like to be your savior.
I’d like to be on my best behavior,
if only to please you.
cause you knows I needs you.
I’m available in English with trash talk subtitles.
I’m a new edition of all your fantasy love idols.
I’m the calculator game to your boring math class.
I’m the pretty face that blocks out images of an exposed ass crack.
If I could be one thing, I’d be your lightning rod. I’d take all the heat from the storms around you and make you just that much taller than the other buildings. We’d look fabulous together during an electrical storm. The newspaper would have us on the front page the morning after and it would look like that final fight scene in Star Wars three, well, Star Wars Episode Six but the original third one of the good ones.
I want to be your secret move in Rock Paper Scissors. When the other kid throws down dynamite I want you to call my name and I will appear out of nowhere and cover his dynamite with napalm letters laced with anthrax.
When I get across the chessboard, I don’t want to trade up to be a queen, I just want to stop playing chess and play different games.
We’ll make our own board out of body parts and furniture.
How can you be so oddly smart, and I immature?
The rhyming is redunkulous.
I want to be inside you like homunculus.
I’d settle for a small cameo performance in the pilot episode that will only be seen behind closed studio doors or if your life every makes it out on DVD.
If you were the mail, I’d want to be the mailman because I would lift you off the ground and take you anywhere. I’d always send you express mail with a gazillion dollar insurance, delivery confirmation and Internet tracking, even if some other guy stamped you as just first class.
If it were up to me, I would change the grammar so You when referring to You would always be capital. And anytime someone said I love you they would have to sign an agreement acknowledging that we were the first to do it best.
If you were a collection of sonnets and love poems, I’d like to be your coauthor and illustrator.
If E Coli meant endearment coliform and the best place to spread it was at restaurants I’d be the illest waitor.
I’m the snake to your rattle,
I’m the Colonel William Tate to your Last Invasion of Britain battle.
If you were a figment of my imagination, then I would like to be the figs on the tree of your imagination. I just got tested for worms and the results are negative.
This was the long version of saying,
I think we’re in the clear.
But next time let's be more careful.
And I still mean everything before and after I say I love you.