fucking ben hur's mom

i feel like fucking ben hur’s mom.
i mean i don’t want to have sex
with ben hur's mom.
i meant the swear word to emphasize
that i really feel like her.
remember in the end of the movie after jc’s crusifiction
it was pouring rain and ben hur’s mom has to hide in the cave
with all of the other lepers having been cast out by the town
for having nubbins for fingers and always bruising and knocking into things.
ben hur’s sister was with her and i think they were hugging
in the cave when the rain was flooding in the tall grass. They loved each other.
but what good is love when you’re stuck in a cave outside of town in the rain.

ben hur comes out to the caves and they are saved through easter’s forgiveness.
everybody comes back home safe and sound without their nubbins or bruises
so they all get to love each other freely.
but i bet when they were hugging in the rain before ben came
one of them was thinking about death and how
miserable an infinite existence in afterlife would be
if it felt anything like this
standing in a cave
in the dark rain
loving each other
hopelessly.

ben hur did come back
not on his chariot
but he did come back.
and the sun bloomed.
fucking right on.