There're much worse, I know it.

I wouldn’t laugh if you were crying.
I wouldn’t smile if you were sad.
I might not give you lots of hugs,
but at least I’d hold your hand.

I’m not a bad person.
No, no. I’m not.

I use all the PC language;
I wouldn’t call you bitch or whore
So much better things (for me) to do
then go looking for a score.

I’m not a bad person.
No, no. I’m not.

I don’t make fun of your religion.
I don’t pet your pets too hard;
probably won’t go to your funeral,
but I’ll definitely send a card.

Never sold kids drugs,
never stole radios,
never beat up a cop,
never snuck in for free.

I’m not a bad person.
No, no. I’m not.

That other girl you saw me with
it was not at all better with her.
I know that that sounds repulsive,
but it’s a compliment for sure.